My dad just told me about a party the night before his MEPs test.
They put all the people in a hotel and people were going to his room for some reason and putting all the beer and ice in the bathtub and the bathtub fell through the floor. 👌👌👌

Wish my bathtub could fall through the floor.

it’s crazy that everything we need to live we have to pay for in some way, like food or water, and those two vital things were once free for everyone and shared(mainly in the native american world) but now it’s like “oh no everything revolves around money, even your well being”

I hate when I’m on a game and I CAN NOT beat a level and I’m like “FUCK” but then I eventually beat it… Only to play a few more levels smoothly and encounter another one that I CAN NOT BEAT.

The year increasing in one digit does not make things better ok, sorry

(Source: illiax)

Take 128,059,532 pictures of self…

0 good pictures.

(Source: illiax)

I’ll be able to explain every movie I’ve ever watched..

except for Donnie Darko.

(Source: illiax)

This sentence will end before you can say “jack rob”

Does this sentence remind you of bananas?

I am the thought you are now thinking.

You just began reading the sentence you just finished.

The reader of this sentence only exists while reading me.

This sentence refers to every sentence that does not refer to itself.

If you think this sentence is confusing, then change one pig

If I were you, who would be reading this sentence?

If I had finished this sentence,

No, you are under my control because you will read until you reach the end of me.

Never end a sentence with the word “and”.

The end of the world starts at 11:11 pm on 12/21
Not the second it turns 12/21 
SO JUST STOP

My band aid ripped some hairs off my arm WTF this never happens :/

Why do the people I have to follow have to be so horny when I’m in public, surrounded by people?

What’s a tumblr
When do you tumblr
How do you tumblr
Where do you tumblr

I remember this like it was yesterday.

In kindergarten I was at lunch and I was raising my hand to act like the Statue of Liberty and a fucking administrator came by and told me to put my arm down. WTF. I was having a blast.

A haircut can make or break you.

I fucking hate compulsive liars.